Where Do I Belong?

Have you ever felt like you've lost your identity because of marriage, kids or even both?

Or maybe you never had that feeling of belonging?

I have sort of been both.
Long story short I have never truly fit in anywhere even though I tried really hard I never did.
I've hit bumps in the road that have made me feel more like an outsider than anything, and the times in my life where I just didn't care what others thought and I was me, that is when I felt the best.

Why did I try So hard to fit in? Why was I so determined to have people like me? I truly wonder if people would have accepted me for being me in middle school and high school.
There were times when I felt like maybe I deserved to be made fun of or deserved to be alone because I hadn't always been a good friend to others.
SO, what's the point?
It just feels exhausting to try all the time to fit in.
As I was writing this I thought of a quote that I feel like should be my new theme to life.

Some people fit in like nothing else.

I actually started this blog post thinking it'd be one thing then I realized I've never fit in.

Maybe just maybe I was never meant to fit in anywhere?

If you've been where I am then maybe you're not supposed to "fit in".

I've heard people will like you for who you are, and it's true, I feel like when I was being me finding true friends was so much easier.

For a time before my husband found me I was being completely me and people liked me.

Then suddenly I was flung into a new life of marriage and I hadn't found my footing and 9 months into marriage we got pregnant with my amazing little boy Asher.

Would I change anything? Probably not.

I love my husband, I love my kids.

I lost myself for a while and now I'm coming to this conclusion, I am not going to try and fit in anymore.

Neither should you.

Let the light within you out.

The happiness you can feel from being yourself is amazing.

So the story goes like this. You know the Disney movie Hercules?

He always wanted to fit in, but he wasn't born to fit in.

Hercules was always meant to be more he just hadn't found his place yet.

He didn't make friends very easy and at a certain point in his life he was willing to do anything to find 'where he belonged'.

 I heard a song by BYU's vocal point a day ago and my goodness it was on point. It was a cover for I Can Go the Distance, and it hit home with how I've been feeling lately.

Life is probably never going to be easy, but what makes it easier is being yourself.

Don't try to please everyone, don't try to please anyone. Be who your heart, soul, and mind tells you who you are and you can't go wrong.

Will it be easy for me to change my mindset? Most likely not, it's not a light switch, but it will be so worth it.

So ask yourself this. "Who am I?" If you don't know yet that's fine you have time to figure it out, but just make sure you take that time to figure it out, your life will mean so much more and what you were meant to do with your life will fall into place once you become you.

Here's a simple list on how to become yourself.

1-Stop caring about what others might think about you.

This can be so utterly consuming just a waste of time, because most of the time they are worried about what you're thinking about them too.

2-look at 1

3-Let loose, dance, sing, and make funny faces.

If you're anything like me sometimes letting loose is just the medicine I need to feel a little bit more like myself.

4-Do the things your heart and mind tells you to do and then repeat 1.

Seriously follow your heart and mind it will lead you places you have dreamt about.

I have seen this to be true..

Until next time, "just keep swimming".