Ashers 3rd and 4th month

I guess technically it's Asher s 2nd and 3rd month and he's turned 4 months old but whatever....
Anyways...


What can I say?

The more I'm around him the more space he takes up in my heart.

We had a scare this past month...

He had a stuffy nose for about a week and a tiny cough.

Then one day I put him down for a nap and let him cry for a while because he normally just puts himself to sleep.

But he wasn't letting up and he was really mad so I went and got him and he was all phlegmy.

I held him and he fell right asleep.

He soon started to cough more and he had a lot of excess mucous.

I didn't think anything of it.

Then he started to get a cough that was deeper in his chest and I just thought he irritated his throat from crying so much and so intensely.

I went and got dinner came home and watched a show with my mom and she held him for a minute and she got a serious tone in her voice my heart dropped and I knew without her saying a word it was about Asher.

I grabbed him and she said his cough sounds funny.

So I took Asher down stairs and I called the Dr. There was no answer.
So I called Jared and he didn't answer but he finally called and he called his dad.(his dad's a Dr.)
At this point I had taken Asher outside to have him breath in cold air, then I turned the shower on high heat to have Asher breath steam in.
Well anyways we took him to the er once Jared got home,
They looked him over sucked everything out off his nose and it was the worst!
He was scared and couldn't breath =(  then they sent us on our way with no meds. SO frustrating..
Well I didn't sleep the whole time Asher came back home...
I cried as much as Asher did.
I think it was 5am when I woke Jared up because Asher wasn't eating or sleeping and could hardly cry.
So I hadn't slept a wink and Jared made me stay home to sleep while he went back to the er.
I cried for a half hour before I finally fell asleep.
Asher got right in once they saw how white he was and saw how he was breathing.
They got him steroids and oxygen and I believe soon after they sent him to utah valley hospital and they took such good care of him!
I got there at about 11am and I didn't leave his side until he got home.. (even then I didn't leave his side)
He got a couple ear infections but he's been doing great!

Up until he got sick I had a great routine and I was staying on task really well.
But since he got sick I am SO lazy!!
I just do the dishes keep the apartment clean and take care of Ash man.
When before I was getting loads of things done in a day.
I guess my motivations changed a bit.
I started wanting to hold Asher a lot more,
and worrying about everything else less.
Unfortunately he loves to play on the ground, he likes being held when he's hungry, tired and sometimes he lets me just hold him.
He is so easy to love!!
I squish his face a lot haha
He has started getting VERY ticklish..
His giggle is the BEST sound in the world!!
Jared had to stop me from tickling him to let him breath.

The frist couple months were a HUGE adjustment.
I had no idea if I was going to ever get over that hump!
My body hurt Asher cried all the time.
I cried a lot haha...
My sleep schedule was all wonky.
My weight wasn't falling off like I was hoping it would!
But it seems like one day it got better.
It's not that it's all fun and games now, my life revolves around him.
I can't make plans without him, I can't just get up and leave at any moment but I don't mind!
It's other people who don't understand that makes it hard.
I Really do want to go out and do everything but I can't Asher comes first.
I played around a lot before I had him and I'm so thankful for that.
Now that I have him I find myself daydreaming about no responsibilities and then I snap back to reality and think this is where I really want to be.
I look at my sweet baby and he's SO worth it.

He has been so much fun these last two months!
It was the hardest thing having him in the hospital.
Before he went in I remember the look in his eyes.
He gave me this look like please help me, he couldn't breath or eat and just thinking about it makes me want to cry!
He was so strong through that whole ordeal..
He's so amazing!!
Last week (beginning of November sometime)he learned to move himself around a little bit
I looked down from the couch and he was at my feet, he'd moved a couple feet!
He goes from his side to his back side to back. He's SO close to rolling over from his back to his stomach.
Every time I put him on his stomach he rolls over to his back so I get the feeling he doesn't really want to roll over yet.
He is taking regular naps but the holiday season is already rough!
He sleeps for 30-45 minutes at 11am and 2-4 hours at 1pm and starts getting tired around 8:30pm he wakes up usually once in the night at about 4am and in the morning at about 8am.
Or whenever Jared wakes up... haha... Jared really tries to be quiet but Asher wakes up EVERY morning with jared around 7.. But if he sleeps in so does Asher.

Asher LOVES his daddy.
I called Jared and put him on speaker, Asher stopped eating to look around and see where he was but I think he was a little confused as to why he couldn't find him.
I think he knows what time Jared usually gets home and he gets fussy around that time and when Jared gets home and picks him up he is fine! crazy.. But I love that he loves him!!
And Jared man o man does he love Asher.
I see the way Jared lights up when I bring Asher to see him. He's one proud daddy!

(End of November)Asher has reached 13lbs! He is growing so fast I saw some of his newborn pictures and was sad that he isn't small anymore, but I'm happy he's so healthy now!
At Ashers 4 month appointment he weighed 14 lbs and 4oz and was 23 inches long.
He is really sore from the shots.
He cries a bit but is still managing to laugh and smile.
He's a trooper!
He loves sleeping on his side, as soon as I lay him down he rolls to his side.
When Asher plays he goes straight to his side and sets his leg as if he's going to turn over but doesn't.
I love him so much!
He loves to chat and squeal.
In the morning he talks to himself then I come out and he smiles at me I LOVE it
I could brag and talk about Asher all day so maybe I'll cut it off pretty quickly.
Asher is the sweetest baby with so much personality.
I love my baby boy so much!
He's doing so well other then being sore from shots.
And continues to make everyone around him smile.
I'll try and get pictures up soon and try to get next month's blog post up on time!

Sorry if it's messy I have been distracted!
Thanks for reading!

 (I've lost 10lbs since this picture woot woot!)

What a stud! =)

 haha.. Jared hates this.. We don't have many byu clothes.

 

Asher from 1st months to 4th month.. I wish he'd stop growing! =(

Asher is 2 months old!

He has grown so much!

His personality is SO big! 

He is very very determined... lol
This month has been much easier.
I've gotten used to him and he has gotten used to me.
He smiles lots and loves when I fake sneeze Haha..
He now weighs 10 lbs 4 oz as of a week ago and eating lots!
He sleeps for about 4 to 6 hours for the first part of the night then 2 to 3 hours after that..
But then there are nights like last night where he wakes up at 3:30 and thinks it's time to wake up...Needless to say I was up for about 2 to 3 hours trying to get him to sleep!
 Anyways...
We went to his 2 month appointment, it was awful!
He was all happy and just hanging onto Jareds fingers when the nurses poked him in both legs and his eyes went HUGE then he went silent and went more and more red, until the cry came out and the nurses were done and he had tears rolling down his face and Jared picked him up (before we went in I said okay You can hold him before the shots but I get him right after he gets them) and you'd think he had hurt Asher by the way I was looking at him. I wanted to hold my baby I think I said Give him to me. ( I turned into a momma bear) Jared gave him to me and oh my goodness he had the saddest cry I'd ever heard him have and I got teary eyed and Jared did too. It was terrible.
The next day and a half he was just so sad and sore, I cried because I wanted to take the pain away. I know it's a good thing we had him get his shots but it was so hard!
Back to good knews Asher is, I believe, 22 inches long and he is growing out of his newborn clothes and in 0-3 months.
He still hasn't laughed while awake but still laughs in his sleep.
This month I started working out and no progress showing yet but I'll keep at it!
My goal is 135! I was at 140 when I first got pregnant, never thought i'd wish I was that weight again... but being 24 lbs heavier than that makes me  really wish I was back down there!
None of my pants fit yet so I'm trying to crack down on my eating habits...
I'm not eating bad food I'm just still eating too much to lose any weight.
Let me tell you... It is so hard to make myself work out!
Asher takes all my attention and when he naps I hurry and clean and try and work out but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the workout..
I've let him cry for a while and it makes me feel terrible (when I went in to get him he had tears and was sweaty from crying!) so I don't do it as much, sooo it goes into my workout time.

Something that has helped me a lot with getting things done is making a to do list.
I've caught myself watching too much tv and once I look at my list I get things done,
MOSTLY....
I never thought one little baby could take up sooo much time in one day!
First I feed him every two hours he eats anywhere from 15-35 minutes then he needs a diaper change and sometimes he wants to be held or he wants me to play with him then he is happy and I can put him down on his play mat so I can clean or make dinner.. Or sooo on then it's time to feed again and the whole routine starts again.

It's a surprise I can even make time to eat with this babies schedule.
I'm not complaining at all!
But as I'm writing this I'm surprised I get anything done!
But I'm proud to say my apartment is clean 90% of the time and laundry is done 90% of the time so I think I've accomplished at least that!

He is the sweetest little guy,
sometimes he stares me straight in the eyes and it feels as if he is looking straight into my soul.
He has such loving eyes I just want to squish his face!

My little guy takes a 1-2 hour nap right after he first wakes up in the morning then a 2-4 hour nap around 1pm and if he misses it, you'd think he was dying he gets so fussy.

Overall this month has been a great learning period and I'd like to think I'm getting the hang of it!

To infinity and beyond!!!

Handsome like daddy!

Smiling with his whole face! I love it!
(this mat is in a lot of pictures because it's how I measure how much he's grown)

(see in this one he is one month old and now he covers the whole thing!)

Little man loves sleeping in his car seat.

The sad lip!
I wish Y'all could hear the whimper he does with it, Jared and I say he sounds like a mouse, or a kitten

Cutest sad cry in the world! But it breaks my heart when the tears start rolling down his cheeks!

 I just want to squeeze  him!
I love these pj's on him! but he's grown out of them now =(

He loves his new light up toy that nana cannon got him

Asher sure loves his daddy! When Jared comes home he tries to twist all around to see him. In this picture Jared is singing to him to help calm him down. (I think this was right after his 2 month shots, which I must say were HORRIBLE!)

 Little man got blessed!

Thanks for reading!

1 month old!

Most of my pictures from his first month are on Jareds camera & it doesn't connect to this computer, so I'm using some from his 2nd month. oh well!

He is 5 weeks old in this picture!

 He LOVES his swing!

 For the Utah Byu football game he wasn't picking sides. My husband is a huge byu fan and I'm a huge Utah fan so Asher was on both sides(he was 6 weeks old)

 First time going to church.

My little guy is a month old as of Sept. 11th

Time has flown by!

I can't complain because I'd like to think he sleeps pretty well at night...

Most of the time he wakes up to eat every 3 hours but sometimes (If I'm lucky)he sleeps for 4 to 6 hours.

He is in the 7lb range and his 2 month is in October so I fully plan on getting him a little bit more chunky by then! haha

He is getting so big!!

 This month Asher..

Smiles in his sleep often,

Has smiled at me a few times,

Is trying to talk LOTS,

Loves to play on the ground and just look around at everything,

Lifts his own head (he's been doing this since the hospital),

Can roll from his stomach to his back (I kept placing him on his tummy and he rolled over 3 times!),

Laughs in his sleep,

Cries A LOT,

Loves to be in his sling,

& he loves to go on walks.

Some days I get a little overwhelmed with all the crying and zero time to do anything but take care of him.

Some days are a bit easier and he just sleeps.. (once every week! haha)

He loves to be awake and being apart of everything.

I have cried A LOT this first month..

Mostly at 3am when he doesn't want to go back to bed and wants to cry instead.

I knew it would be hard.

I knew I'd have late late nights.

I knew he'd cry

but I underestimated how I'd feel.

I guess lack of consistent sleep can really mess with emotions...

And a baby screaming at you for an hour straight,

even when you've tried EVERY thing to help them feel better.

It is THE hardest job I've ever done.

For one it's a never ending job...

It goes for 24 hours 7 days a week.

You don't have the luxury of taking a break.

I love this little boy sooo much,

I can't imagine life without him now that I have him.

This is the hardest I've had to work for not much in return..

But it is worth it.

I can't imagine not having Jared to help me.

There were a few nights I was falling apart from being so exhausted I couldn't function..

And Jared grabbed Asher from me and told me to go to bed.

He is working his butt of at school, and he's taken on extra hours in the tutoring center to earn more money for us,

and he is still willing to take the late night shift every now and then.

Soo life is good.. busy and hard but good!
Jared and I love our little Angel and wouldn't have our life any other way!

39 weeks pregnant and labor

(Sorry this is 3 1/2 weeks late! I've been adjusting to my new sleeping pattern and a fussy sick baby and for some reason the pictures won't change from sideways.. odd sorry!! Enjoy! More pictures will be up in later posts!)

After I got the Epidural.. I was very out of it!

Jared was practically jumping up and down he was so excited.

The nurse wanted to keep Asher modest for the camera haha

One unhappy baby.. =(

He is giving me the stare down.. hahaha

One proud daddy.

all the tests began.. She was my favorite nurse!!!

cute lil Smasher...

So I made it through my 39th week... barely.
I was in pre labor all of Friday. My contractions were sporadic and obnoxious.

Some of them I'd have to stop and breathe for a minute.

Then Friday night I started to have contractions 7 minutes apart for about an hour.

I honestly can't remember for sure but I believe I went in about 1am and I was only dilated to a 1 1/2

The nurse said you're having a lot of contractions but the ones you feel are 7 minutes apart so they’re checked me in an hour and no progress so they sent me home.

I went home and didn't sleep all night because of contractions I cried a lot and my mom stayed up with me a lot of the night.
I would have consistent contractions for an hour then they'd be all over the place over and over again.

Then all of Saturday I had on again off again contractions and they slowly got worse and worse so I went in at about 6 to see if it was time and same routine I was 7 minutes apart more intense contractions and I was only dilated to a 2 and 90% effaced but this time they sent me home with pain meds.

I cried the whole way home and I had to eat something with the pain meds they gave me but everything made me feel nauseous. (I had chicken noodle soup and that's the only thing that was in my system)

So I downed crackers and a drink and some nuggets and took the medicine.

I got home cried more and went down to my bed.

I wouldn't talk to anyone except Jared because I didn't want to cry more.

Then the contractions got worse and worse.

 I slept in between contractions, which was about 10 minutes apart.

I felt really sick because of the pain med and finally let some of it out.

Then it got worse if you can imagine and my sister Tracy came down and put pressure on my lower back

It helped so much!

I had really bad contractions for about 5 to 6 hours.

Jared was staying by my side, I finally told him he needed to get some rest because there's no reason we should both suffer.

 So I convinced him I'd be fine by myself.....

Oh boy was it hard to be by myself with those contractions. ..

So I texted my mom and asked her if she'd come down to our apartment to be with me.

She came right down.

So every time I had a contraction I went on my hands and knees and my mom would put pressure on my lower back...

At some point my mucous plug came out and I was happy something happened but it still wasn't enough to go in.

After sporadic contractions for a long time I was falling apart and asked my husband for a blessing...

It was straight forward and to the point.

After 30 minutes of agonizing pain I told my husband it was time.

So we rushed off and I started having some contractions 3 to 5 minutes apart.

The drive was uncomfortable...

Jared’s hand suffered too.

 I tried to squeeze the handle more than his hand but I think I made it go purple a couple times.

Then we were at the hospital for the 3rd time.

I was walking in and a contraction hit and a nurse saw me and ran in and got a wheel chair.

The time was about 5am on Sunday and they checked me and said I was dilated to a 5 and I could get the epidural... that was music to my ears.

I wanted to get up and dance.

So they setup the room up.

It felt like an eternity.

Finally we were relocated into the room.

Soon after we got to our room my mom, two sisters, and mother in law came, it was quite the party.. haha

About 15 minutes after we got into the room the anesthesiologist got there and it was heaven...

Other than the fact that I started to get really light headed and almost passed out.

They then put me on oxygen and made me turn on my side to keep Asher’s heart rate up.

Asher seemed to have a favorite side so my epidural took over my left side and I could slightly feel contractions on my right side

But I didn't mind.

A few hours passed they checked me a few times I was moving along.

I was at a 10 at about noon and then the Dr. came in to tell me to push.

About 15 to 20 minutes later my beautiful baby boy was here with a full head of hair.

The nurse gave him to me and said help me get him warm (his temp. Was low)

I wasn't much help I wiped him down and just stared at him.

He had the sweetest little whimper and the biggest frown and stuck out his bottom lip.

I never wanted to let him go but they took him to weigh him.

He weighed 5lbs 8 oz. and he was 18 inches long.

At the time I didn't think anything of it but his placenta was really small and it caused him to be a little malnourished, which caused a few other little things to come up.

They then took him to bathe him and such and poked him and poked him and poked him.

But Jared was there to hold his hand the entire time, but he was being a tough guy and curious looking around everywhere.

Through all the poking they found that his bilirubin count was high, he wasn't holding temperature, and wasn't breathing well.

The whole time this was happening I had no clue I was taking a quick cat nap after I woke up they took me to my room (with a very numb left leg)

The nurse wheeled me passed the nursery to see my sweet little Angel.

I was so tired that I wasn't processing anything.

I slept for another 40 minutes then Jared came in to let me know what was going on.
 He was in the NICU.
I wanted to see him right away, I was so numb and sore, and it hurt to move so I didn't get to see him until a little later.

When I finally went down to the NICU I couldn't hold him because he needed to stay under the bili lights which stunk! I of course wanted him to get better but I wanted to hold him more.

He was super sensitive when you touched him so he'd cry if you rubbed his skin so all I could do was place a hand on him, I can't tell you how much I wanted to hold him.

Luckily at about 3am they gave me a call and I got to go try and feed him for the first time.
It was hard but I was glad to hold my little man.

So when I got there he had an IV of sugar water and he was hooked up to all the fancy monitors and was under the lights about 18 to 20 hours of the day.

So a couple days passed I was sent home and needed to still come back to feed little man, that was tiring!!
I met with the doc and he let me know Asher was getting better and that he might be able to go home on Wednesday but for sure Thursday.

So the waiting game was on and I woke up about 5am and called into the hospital to ask how his test went (it was at 3am) and the nurse told me she thought it looked really good but that the Dr. was the one who got to decide if Asher was going to be able to come home.

So as soon as his next feeding rolled around I hurried and got ready and went to the hospital, and sure enough the Dr. said he could come home and he didn't need to have the lights come home, but that he'd need to come back for a few days to get his bili tested to see if it was staying down.

So I called my family told them he could finally come home.

He just had to sit in his car seat for 90 minutes before he could go home to see if he would breathe alright in it, and sure enough he did and Jared and I were finally able to bring him home!

His release weight was 5lbs 6oz and still 18inches.

I was so ready to have him home I remember just staring at him and crying I was so happy to have him home.

The next few days weren't fun for me I cried a lot because Asher’s bili went up and he lost 2oz's and I was soooo worried they'd make him come back to the hospital.

BUT luckily his bili went down and he was done with the tests!

Now it's 3 1/2 weeks later and my baby is healthy...He has a cold.. but he's healthy.
He is very impatient and thinks he's dying every time I get ready to feed him and he's not immediately fed.. haha.
I'm doing well, I also have a cold and I'm adjusting to the night feedings.. I tend to get really grumpy if he refuses to sleep, let me tell you... patients is hard at 3am.
I have spent many nights crying as well when he just wouldn't sleep. haha...
Knock on wood.... It's getting easier.
I think his digestive system is getting stronger and I'm avoiding milk, chocolate, onions, etc so that he doesn't fight me while eating. When he's mad he starts scratching... and if you've seen his nails they are wicked long!

I am extremely happy and this is a hard job but I'd say I'm getting better at it everyday!
I'm lucky to have such a strong support system and a loving husband who wakes up in the middle of the night when I'm bawling because I'm so tired to take Asher.
I am truly blessed.

His bed and his birthday cupcake!

First bath!!
Thanks for reading! and sorry for getting so behind! Being a new mom is a lot of work!

38 weeks

(I have a picture but I figure I should at least get this post up before my 39th week is over.)

38 weeks y'all!
This baby doesn't want to come out yet danget!

the baby is about the size of a Leek.

He is about 6.8 lbs (according to baby center)

and about 19 inches long.

I honestly wanted to make the baby come this week.

He just wouldn't budge!

He's hanging out down lower and in position to come out.

The dr. told me that the cervix was thinning.

I'm super sensitive to what everyone says lately,

If it isn't what I want to hear I'm thinking "don't like them right now"

I know it's dumb but all I want to hear is that it will happen asap! 

haha

I went on a walk everyday.

I had a lot of Braxton hicks everyday!

Then towards the end of the week I was having contractions and on Saturday night my contractions got 7 minutes apart and were going for about 45 minutes.

Then I fell asleep and woke up with a sore back but no more contractions.

When I woke up my back felt like it had a nice long workout.

Jared and I went up to city creek for the day and rode the front runner downtown.

We had a lot of fun.

There were a few stores that had clothes that were ridiculously high priced.

A cashmere sweater was $400 dollars I thought Jared was kidding when he said that but Oh my goodness!!! 

Why not buy 10 sweaters that will last longer then one sweater? 

I don't know that's just me..

But anyways we walked around for at least 3 hours and my pregnant body sure felt it!

I couldn't wait to sit down!

We got on trax and I started to cry (Jared thought it was because we didn't get cheesecake, I wasn't in the mood to spend 7.50 on one little slice and Jared wanted chocolate and I don't like chocolate all that much and I felt so bad that I was the reason we weren't getting any when Jared wanted a piece really bad.)

But I was crying because I wasn't in labor haha. I felt so dumb on the train when I was getting ready to sob...

 But Once we started heading back on frontrunner I started to contract and have constant back pain so I was happy to have something happening.

But on another note I am glad for every extra second I have to prepare for a newborn.
I have 19 nieces and nephews from 0 to 12. (15 on my side and 4 on Jareds)
And then Jared and I will be adding one of our own!
BUT with that being said we have a little experience but watching nieces and nephews isn't quit like having your own...
I had the honor of watching two adorable little guys and I got a small taste of what it'd be like(of course I handed them back over everyday for all the hard stuff)
So we have some experience under our belts but I know nothing can really prepare us for what is next.
We are the primary care for this little Angel, we make all the big decisions in his life, and we get to wake up all night with him... woooooo...
But we couldn't be more excited for this upcoming adventure.