Be the Change

In this world I feel like there is so much bogging me down and pulling me so many different ways.

There are things telling me I need to think this mainstream way and if I don't then I am wrong. 

That I need to believe what everyone else believes or I'm the bad in this world.

There is so much hate, anger and complete chaos dragging so many people to pick a side or to turn against each other.

What I know is that the hate that is being spread is ridiculous.

Hate gays, hate Christians, hate blacks, hate whites, hate cops, hate Trump, hate Clinton, hate, hate, hate.

Hate only breeds hate, it CANNOT EVER breed love or true understanding.

So why are we all fighting trying to make everyone think one certain way? 

We are unique we have FREE AGENCY for a reason.

Our souls will tell us if we are doing what is right. You CAN feel it in your soul.

So why can't we work together? Why can't we teach love, not point fingers at one another?
In some books that I've read it has taught me to never blame anyone else for my problems, the person you should always hold accountable is yourself. DON'T blame anyone else except yourself for what is happening and you will always be in control of your life and happiness.

Teach love. Teach happiness, Be Happy. Be a Light in a world of darkness.

Hate will continue to grow unless we turn to love.

Love will conquer hate.

I felt the need to write about this because it has been really dragging me down.

We are better then this.

We are stronger then this.

Why are we stooping so low?

Please just stop hiding behind your computer or even rallying to go up against someone else.

Haven't you ever heard that you will catch more bears with honey then with vinegar?

Just stop it.
Hate less, love more, and truly seek to understand others and you will find happiness.

Pictures: Pinterest

Where Do I Belong?

Have you ever felt like you've lost your identity because of marriage, kids or even both?

Or maybe you never had that feeling of belonging?

I have sort of been both.
Long story short I have never truly fit in anywhere even though I tried really hard I never did.
I've hit bumps in the road that have made me feel more like an outsider than anything, and the times in my life where I just didn't care what others thought and I was me, that is when I felt the best.

Why did I try So hard to fit in? Why was I so determined to have people like me? I truly wonder if people would have accepted me for being me in middle school and high school.
There were times when I felt like maybe I deserved to be made fun of or deserved to be alone because I hadn't always been a good friend to others.
SO, what's the point?
It just feels exhausting to try all the time to fit in.
As I was writing this I thought of a quote that I feel like should be my new theme to life.

Some people fit in like nothing else.

I actually started this blog post thinking it'd be one thing then I realized I've never fit in.

Maybe just maybe I was never meant to fit in anywhere?

If you've been where I am then maybe you're not supposed to "fit in".

I've heard people will like you for who you are, and it's true, I feel like when I was being me finding true friends was so much easier.

For a time before my husband found me I was being completely me and people liked me.

Then suddenly I was flung into a new life of marriage and I hadn't found my footing and 9 months into marriage we got pregnant with my amazing little boy Asher.

Would I change anything? Probably not.

I love my husband, I love my kids.

I lost myself for a while and now I'm coming to this conclusion, I am not going to try and fit in anymore.

Neither should you.

Let the light within you out.

The happiness you can feel from being yourself is amazing.

So the story goes like this. You know the Disney movie Hercules?

He always wanted to fit in, but he wasn't born to fit in.

Hercules was always meant to be more he just hadn't found his place yet.

He didn't make friends very easy and at a certain point in his life he was willing to do anything to find 'where he belonged'.

 I heard a song by BYU's vocal point a day ago and my goodness it was on point. It was a cover for I Can Go the Distance, and it hit home with how I've been feeling lately.

Life is probably never going to be easy, but what makes it easier is being yourself.

Don't try to please everyone, don't try to please anyone. Be who your heart, soul, and mind tells you who you are and you can't go wrong.

Will it be easy for me to change my mindset? Most likely not, it's not a light switch, but it will be so worth it.

So ask yourself this. "Who am I?" If you don't know yet that's fine you have time to figure it out, but just make sure you take that time to figure it out, your life will mean so much more and what you were meant to do with your life will fall into place once you become you.

Here's a simple list on how to become yourself.

1-Stop caring about what others might think about you.

This can be so utterly consuming just a waste of time, because most of the time they are worried about what you're thinking about them too.

2-look at 1

3-Let loose, dance, sing, and make funny faces.

If you're anything like me sometimes letting loose is just the medicine I need to feel a little bit more like myself.

4-Do the things your heart and mind tells you to do and then repeat 1.

Seriously follow your heart and mind it will lead you places you have dreamt about.

I have seen this to be true..

Until next time, "just keep swimming".

Kids

I look to my left and all I see is toys, gold fish crumbs, and my childs favorite blanket, I look to my right I see dishes, clothes and more toys.

The messes are everywhere, and so is my mind.

Is it really worth it to live in destruction constantly?

I used to thrive on a clean and organized home, I was that girl who said "my house will NEVER look like those peoples homes that are always a mess" but here I am looking around and it is exactly the same.

I have to laugh at it sometimes, I work work work all day and it takes them 20 seconds to undo it all.

 I have to give it to them they are experts in mess making.

Haha

Most of you who are reading this already know how hard it is.

I am with you, I struggle more then I ever imagined I would.

I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a mom and that was what I was meant to be, but I had no idea how hard it would be.

I could clean all day long and it would still be a mess, right ladies? hahaha

So why do it?

If I looked around my apartment and all I saw was a perfectly put together home with no toys no food crumbs and no finger prints on everything, it would feel so empty.

Without those enormous spirits, my life would be utterly empty.

I cry thinking about losing them ever, and you know you would too.

Do I sometimes want to scream and cry at the same time? Sadly, pretty frequently.

They test me daily to see just how far they can push me before they slowly pull me back off the edge.

For example, I had thrown a few chicken nuggets in the microwave for my on the go snack I came in ready to grab them and my son turns back to me glowing, standing on a chair to reach the microwave, and says "Mommy I'm cooking your nuggets for you!!" I look to see the microwave currently at 1:36 left, It took everything in me to not get angry.

I did of course have to tell him to not play with the microwave without daddy or mommy in the future but I gladly stomached the dehydrated chicken nugget for that sweet boy who always sees me making him his lunch and just wanted to help, Those moments you just have to look at your child and say thank you, because just as you are doing your best so are they.

They don't want you to yell at them, they don't want to make you cry, though at times it seems that way.
Making messes are much more fun then cleaning up, you don't realize how true this is until you are a parent, becuase most of what you do is clean up messes.

As much as you don't know what your doing at times neither do they.

You know what you want, and they know what they want sometimes we get lucky and it's the same thing, but most of the time it is opposite.

Motherhood is quite possibly the most important thing I've ever done.
I could have the next Olympian, the next president, the child who finds a cure to an illness, YOUR kids could be that too, treat them as such.

So stay calm. It's likely your house will be a mess for the next 18+ years but it will be worth it.
Your child needs a cheerleader much more then they need someone telling them all the things they do wrong.
Be there and let the little things go there are so many more important things to focus on, like trying to keep your one year old from hitting all the keys on your keyboard haha..

Until next time give your kids a big hug and kiss and know that one day you will miss the little finger prints everywhere.

The Hiatus is Over!

So much has happened in the life of the Roberts clan over the last few months!

I haven't made time to blog like I told myself I wanted to, so now I am going to MAKE it happen!

I'll just overview everything that has happened since my last post.

I shared a very personal post that basically exhausted my writing.

I was so emotionally tired after that I almost completely cut myself out of social media but I stood tall and I kept going.

I didn't share that post in hopes people would feel bad for me I hoped maybe that even just one person who needed to read my story would and that it would help them.

Then there is being a mom and all that fun stuff it has kept me very busy and to honest I am a bit lazy and cut corners like no body's business!

Speaking of parenting Asher has turned TWO!!! Crazy right? He is a strong willed kid which I'm sure will pay off later in life, I hope.... ha ha
Asher is now coming up on Three and I can't believe it he is so intelligent, tender hearted, extremely loving and loves to get his way!
This guy has a very specific pallet which includes; fruit, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, quesadilla's, PB&J, ravioli and SpaghettiO's. Nothing more nothing less, and even on some days he doesn't like any of that and only wants fruit.. This kid... ha ha

For his birthday he picked the simplest cake out of all the pictures I had shown him, go figure...

I love this little stinker!!

Then there is Grace she is already ONE!!! WHAT? Yep, basically she is too cute for her own good. I am starting to feel like I've got the swing of being a mom and I can handle most tantrums that come my way, thanks for giving me some training Asher!

Grace is very busy I can tell she will keep my hands full as well but for now I will enjoy her being little.

She hasn't started walking but she talks up a storm and is a little cuddle bug(which I love!!)She LOVES to eat anything and everything, she loves anything bright and girly.(Nothing like me but I love it!!) she loves getting dressed up, loves Minnie and Sofia, isn't afraid of much and a silent trouble maker, and finally she adores her big brother even when he screams at her to stop talking. 

THEN finally last but not least my best friend Jared. Something I have had the honor of learning this year is how amazing Jared is with kids.

Everywhere he goes kids line up to play with him. He has a true talent. I sure love this guy. It hasn't always been easy for us but we always make it through.

 Our biggest family trial has been the wait for medical school.  I have mostly been support and love during the low times to encourage him to not give up on his dreams. A year ago Jared had the impression he would be pushed to the edge and then off of it and then he would soar, we didn't quit know how to interpret it. We figured it meant at the last moment we would get into medical school but for our second application cycle in a row we were left confused and a little heart broken. We continued with faith and we went for our third round of applications and worried it wouldn't work out again. We even had started to think about other options.

Then we got the email that said we got an interview at the University of Utah for the third year in a row at this point I'd lost hope we'd be staying in Utah, then I remember this morning crystal clear, I was laying in bed trying to avoid getting up and I heard Jared phone ring which always made my heart skip a beat because it was the season of acceptances... Then I heard Jared run outside and I thought okay be calm that is probably just Jared's parents so I stayed in bed trying to convince myself it's nothing then I heard Jared outside what I thought I heard was him crying so naturally I ran outside and I looked at him and he looked at me crying and I asked if it was... He nodded his head yes, and gave me a thumbs up. I of course ran to him and started to sob into his shoulder and then ran to tell my mom the news still bawling my eyes out. 

It was a week long daydream. It didn't feel real but it's real and all that faith we held onto payed off and we got in. It would have been easy to lose faith and give up but thankfully even when other people expected us to give up we never did.

SO it has been an eventful year.

We finally feel like our future is set and we know what's going to happen next.

I am still learning as a mom, becoming the wife I wanted to be, and finding my passions in life.

It has been hard to let go of some things that I love but it has all led me towards things that will ultimately make me happy.

What being a mom and wife has been like for me as follows.. ha ha

Yep my son to a "T"...

I am glad to say we have only missed one date night this year. It isn't optional. We don't have to do something extravagant each week we just have to go out without the kids. 

I love you Jared. I believe in you and I always will. You are superman and deserve to succeed and I know you will!! You have worked hard for the future and it's going to be great!!

Well y'all get the gist. There are a lot of things that have happened but I just wanted to let you all know I am back at the blogging thing and I am ready to share my tips and my life with everyone again!

If you'd like to hear about something specifically send me a message or leave a comment and I'll work up a post for ya.

 So here goes!! Love y'all and thank you for reading! 

<3 <3 <3 <3